my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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