We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
