And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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