Sry I called you an 8
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
