I think I won the penis lottery.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
