he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
