apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
