Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i think i have two assholes
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
