True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
