Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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