this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
