how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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