There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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