Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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