How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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