shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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