I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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