One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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