Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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