is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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