She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
