bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
