thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
