i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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