Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin

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(443): View more from Maryland

i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.

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(660): View more from Missouri

Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...

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(914): View more from New York

I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.

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(718): View more from New York

The gym has a pool

(914): View more from New York

my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg

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(316): View more from Kansas

You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.

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(708): View more from Illinois

the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘

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