hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
