so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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