Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
