my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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