I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
