its not stalking. its research.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
