I don't usually arrange sex via text message
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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