I think scott just propositioned me for sex
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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