I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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