Christians are straight up FREAKS
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
