Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
