Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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