Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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