i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
