god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
