You're my little dorito
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
