The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm both gender and math confused
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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