I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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