just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
