I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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