Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
