so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
it's not cheating when I paid for it
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
