Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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