She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
