I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
