I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
